South African death metal band Vulvodynia recently sacked frontman Duncan Bentley after he allegedly “tried to kill” drummer Tom Hughes during a violent encounter in Prague, severely fracturing the latter’s nose.
Now, Bentley has issued a statement of his own, apologizing to his former bandmates for the incident, while denying that he had any attempt on Hughes’ life.
In the lengthy social media post, Bentley also addressed his history of getting into physical altercations with Hughes — recounting an incident in which the drummer “choked” Bentley during a heated argument on the road — and opened up about himself. The mental and physical harm caused by the band, the “baseless” allegations that he abused his wife, and whether he will keep the name Vulvodynia in a legal sense.
The full text of Bentley’s statement follows:
“Hi everyone, I write to you all today with a heavy heart. It is not easy to talk about what happened recently, but it is important for me to do so. I have kept silent until now because I am stuck in a place where I cannot communicate, and I want to be in Get a medical check before addressing what happened.
First, I owe the band, our crew and Tom an apology. An apology might seem trivial in the face of what happened, but I need to deliver. I am very sorry for what happened in Prague. We shared so many stages, so many good times, I never wanted our story to end on a night like that. I’m sorry our disagreement became physical and I take full responsibility for my part in it…
To clear up any misunderstanding, I want everyone to know that I have been sober since March 30th. I never “tried to kill” Tom like all the headlines said…the reason we had a fight that night was because I was wrongly accused of drinking when I was actually sober and taking care of my bandmates, themselves Also drinking.
It frustrates me to see our hard-earned band funds being spent on booze, drugs, dancing, etc., and then being accused of drinking myself when I’m just tired, further escalating an already existing tension. Ever since the band’s bank account was in Tom’s name, misuse of funds has been a regular occurrence.
This isn’t the first time Tom and I have had a physical altercation. On our third European tour, I felt betrayed and hurt when Tom strangled me after pulling me from our station wagon during a violent altercation. Then, in the Philippines, I attacked him in a drunken rage after not sleeping well and having to deal with the grief of a family death.
I am not proud of these incidents, nor are they an excuse for my actions. But I do want to make it clear that these are isolated incidents and that Tom and I have had many positive experiences together as friends and band members.
I have to ask all of you though, if you were in our position and you saw two band members fighting, would you try to help both parties involved? Just because Tom’s trauma was more obvious doesn’t mean I’m not injured and need support. Being abandoned by someone you’ve considered family for a long time can be a devastating experience…
That being said, I ended up with injuries – broken ribs and a concussion – and being left alone in a strange city with no phone and no way to reach home left me in a bind. The R5000 the band sent me barely covered anything as my travel and medical bills were well over R15000/$1000 and I had to borrow money from my family as I couldn’t change my flight. I say this not to play the victim, but to add an unshared story.
I’ve never felt this level of heartbreak. Losing everything you’ve worked so hard for, everything you love in an instant is something I don’t want anyone to suffer. That moment, being pinned to a wall by the police and crying out to my bandmates for help, is a moment that will stick with me forever. Abandoned, blocked, and obliterated by the closest brothers…the pain that cannot be expressed in words…
It’s disheartening to see my ex-bandmates resort to name-calling and character assassination in an attempt to silence my story. Their accusations of me being a “manipulator, psychopath, and compulsive liar” are not only unfounded, but make it clear how far they are willing to go to stifle my voice and justify their actions. I urge everyone to step back and assess the situation from all angles before jumping to conclusions or making hasty judgments…
Since the band’s post, my wife, family and friends have received multiple death threats. I beg you, please stop. They are innocent in all of this and don’t deserve it at all. My wife has been receiving death threats in another city and I haven’t seen her in weeks. This has been weighing heavily on me…it’s unacceptable for anyone to have to go through this…
Now, I need to talk about something very personal, and I ask for your understanding. Rumors and allegations surfaced suggesting that I had acted inappropriately towards my wife. I want to address this directly and unequivocally: these allegations are baseless. I need to be clear – I love my wife. I love my family more than anything in this world. Last year I was battling severe Xanax and alcohol additions which resulted in blackouts which I deeply regret.
It was a low point in my life and my wife and I worked hard to get over it. I worked this out with my wife, Chris has no right to put that information out there as I would never intentionally hurt her. These are serious allegations that have resulted in most of the death threats my family and I have received since the incident.
My wife and I will forever feel unhinged when we leave our home, and it causes immense pain for me and my loved ones. Lisha even got a call yesterday claiming to know “how we move” and “when we leave the house” telling us they will pick us up… this should not be taken lightly so please respect our privacy as we work through this difficulty time.
It hurts to read the horrific remarks about me and my family. I thought about giving up, but I won’t. I’m committed to being a better person – for my family, for our fans, and for myself.
I’m currently facing the hardest decision of my life: Do I step back and let this band I started and worked so hard be taken from me? Or fight for my last ray of hope? This band is my whole life and I’ve worked really hard to get it to where it is. We will be celebrating our 10th anniversary next year, a milestone I have dreamed of reaching all my life, before this unfortunate night…
Very frustrating that the incident wasn’t resolved by both parties before posting and pointing fingers – especially since I was hurt too.
I honestly wish I never went out with them that night…
I will be stepping back from social media and music to focus on my mental health. I need some time to process myself and get the help I need to figure out my problems and how to deal with them. The days ahead will be challenging, but I am committed to improving my life, learning from my mistakes, and growing from experiences that will haunt me forever. I hope that in time I can regain your trust and respect.
Thank you all for your understanding and patience as I go through this busy time in my life. I am grateful to those who have shown me kindness and support during this time that no one else has.
Finally, I want to once again offer my deepest apologies to Tom, the band, our fans, all of our colleagues and everyone affected by this situation. I’m truly sorry for the hurt I caused and I promise to make you all proud of me again. Hopefully one day we can put aside this horrific incident and be friends again. I still love you very much and you will always be my brothers.
Take care, stay safe, and remember to be kind to each other. Things happened so fast.
Sincere apologies,
Duncan Bentley. “
In Vulvodynia’s initial statement, the group admitted it was already considering firing Bentley for his erratic behavior and excessive drinking. Due to the financial commitments associated with touring, the band will continue to work with Bentley as long as he promises not to drink alcohol—a touchy subject that apparently led to the recent spat with Hughes.
In Hughes’ second statement describing the encounter, the drummer said the two “didn’t get into a drunken altercation of any kind” but had a “fantastic” evening after a show when Bentley Behavior started to become weird. When Hughes asked Bentley if he had been drinking, Bentley “completely lost it” and became violent.
Apparently, this isn’t the first time Bentley has attacked Hughes in a fit of rage, and Hughes recalled a recent incident in the Philippines when Bentley was woken up by a late phone call from a hotel lobby, which broke Hughes’ ribs. . Hughes concluded his statement by confirming that Bentley will never be part of the band again.
You can view Bentley’s Instagram post and statement below.