court: Once upon a time, in a distant ocean kingdom, a young mermaid developed an unhealthy crush on a man who had suffered a lot. So she decides the best course of action is to enter into a binding legal contract with an evil sea witch (who also happens to be her aunt now?) for the chance to woo the man herself.
Great plan, Ariel. No notes.but that is little mermaid Here you are, a copy of the classic Hans Christian Anderson story first reimagined in 1989 by writer/directors John Musker and Ron Clements, whose work has now been directed by Rob Marshall adapted for reality TV.
In wet places: “Extravaganza” is another way of saying that the latest Disney live-action remake takes the original film and adds 52 minutes to it…well, not exactly the story. Instead, everything is slightly more, as Marshall and writer David Maggi used the extra 52 minutes to add several additional songs (written by original composer Alan Menkin, Lin-Manuel Milan lyric), as well as new details about the 1830s Caribbean country and underwater kingdom where the story takes place.
Halle Bailey as The Little Mermaid, Jonah Hauer-King as the dashing prince she falls for, and Melissa McCarthy as the villain who knows the law of contract Sea Witch, there are moments in the film that are brilliant — at the press screening I was at, after the movie shot “Under the Sea,” there was a big round of applause. However, the movie never really justifies its existence, other than some strong casting choices and, of course, the chance to make Disney a lot of money.
Hot Crustaceans: As with all these live-action adaptations, there’s no shortage of CGI magic to bring certain characters to life. When it comes to non-human “actors,” here’s a ranking of all the digital characters, from most to least appealing:
1. Sebastian (David Diggs). Despite having the least amount of facial structure, his big cartoon eyes give him the most personality…once you get over the surrealism of the aforementioned big cartoon eyes.
2. Skylight (Awkwafina). It’s easier to just look like a talking bird than to…
3. Flounder (Jacob Tremblay). Not just his lifeless eyes, but the way your brain actively rejects the idea that he’s a talking fish; a strange new plateau within the Uncanny Valley. Of all the characters, he could have used a more cartoonish approach.
The Little Mermaid (Disney)