Old adages are often rooted in timeless wisdom: where there is smoke there is fire, and two wrongs do not make right.
But some clichés need to be put aside, says Rachel DeAlto, chief dating expert at Match.com. When it comes to dating, it might help to let go of the idea that “opposites attract” if you’re trying to find a long-term partner.
“Everyone thinks that opposites attract, but the reality is that similarity is something you can build upon,” she says.
Three values in particular can determine whether a relationship lasts long-term, she said.
Finances, Family & Lifestyle
Many people confuse personality with values. Two people with completely different personalities can be very suitable for each other. However, their values and goals must be aligned.
DeAlto says that successful couples typically have the following shared values:
- financial: how they agree to spend their money
- family: Shared vision of how they plan to start a family or take care of their own
- lifestyle: They like to devote their time to the same activities, such as traveling or exercising
Consistency in these areas is more important than character traits, she says.
“You can put someone who is outgoing and fun with someone who is more introverted and quiet, because I guarantee that at the end of the day, they’re very similar in how they think about family, how they handle money, how they spend their time,” DeAlto explain.
Have a straightforward conversation about values and future plans before you get more serious with someone.
This can help you deduce whether the two of you will be compatible long-term.
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